Friday, November 29, 2013

Rapture



Hello weary friend, I know it's been awhile since we last met. Well, I've been busy, as I'm sure you have. After all, it's not like you checked the blog everyday for almost a year to see if I posted something new, right? Right??? Anywho, here's a little snipit I did for class. It's nothing fancy, but apparently my exploitation of an older, more regal language casts premature ejaculation in a beautiful, poetic light. Enjoy. 

Rapture
By: Michael T. Flanders 

It was supposed to be a simple deed in the darkness, a fevered feast of gluttony upon my person which would be consumed within moments. Valor and virtue would be swallowed by the rosy gale that enveloped the whole of myself, leaving my youth unchecked at the door. To my dismay, the efforts of my defense and self-control were for naught, as a quick tidal effect washed over me, stripping away the promises of pleasure in a sea of euphoria. Instead, my manhood is tested, only to falter against the ecstasy beat of her rhythmic sin and I find myself reminded of something not dissimilar, when the trigger of my hunting rifle was teased and a small ball of lead tore through the air prematurely, like a pheasant flying away from its stalker well before the game began. And like the pheasant, my mind raced in a million different directions, floundering for the best escape. The bird for survival, myself for shameful brashness.
     My eyes fluttered everywhere, drinking in the sights of my host’s abode, refusing to look at her in this frozen moment of hushed awkwardness. Warm, pulsing contractions continued to vibrate below, yet her body did not move after its third gallop, assuring me the steed I brought her was no more than the jackass she expected. A whispering wind billowed through the cruddy cloth the tart hung as curtains, a hint of bitter ale sweeping along with it. It clung to the air, the intoxicating smell mixing with the ripe odor of feminine exertion, crafting the perfect atmosphere one would anticipate a whorehouse to possess. And without warning, the same exact feeling I experienced seconds ago with the explosion of indignity, she plucked herself from the sticky mound that was my lower half and went about cleaning as if it were the norm. On her bed, a slim pad of grime and uncomfortable displacement, I lay exposed and drenched in the juices of my very first experience with a woman. I came expecting a lion’s roar, but was given the soft caw of a pheasant. Without hesitation I retrieved my trousers from the bottoms of my ankles and rested them back at the base of my hips, then walked out without ever giving the woman a second glance. Her shillings rested nicely on her nightstand, there was no need for more false pleasantries.

Saturday, January 19, 2013

"Al"

“AL”
“Slit their fucking throats!”

The words still echoed in my mind, the violent urges Al so desperately wanted performed by my own hand. In fact, it was these urges which propelled me even to this day. I don’t mean these harsh actions drive my person, mind you, they don’t control who I am, but rather they cause me to live a life of normalcy. A man of eight years over twenty, I would’ve been a completely different creature had I not taken the straight razor to the throats of my parents. In all honesty, I may have been worse than the Ripper without the stain upon my soul being cleansed at age eight. But even considering this, I know now I still should’ve slashed that monkey to pieces instead of my dear, sweet parents. Maybe in doing so I would’ve only known a life of dull normalcy, not needing to strive for it in the first place… But I’m getting ahead of myself. The story didn’t start with the death of my loved ones. No, it all began with a simple gift.

THEN – Fall, 1888: London

“It’s a Macaque! Isn’t he simply radiant?” Mother’s tone was cheerful. I always hated how excitable she sounded. “Your father and I purchased him from a foreigner while on our trip to India!” Little did Mother realize she would’ve been the foreign one in another country.

“He smells.”

Mother’s face sank, as if taken aback, yet she continued on. “Nonsense, my love. He’s merely a victim of displacement. You’d be rather odd smelling I’m sure, to other people if you were placed in their natural habitat after spending your whole life somewhere else.” Her theories always came out rather dim, I was merely too young to realize it.

“Take him back. I don’t want him.”

Father finally entered the conversation with his steel-trap logic. “We can’t take him back, Pippin. It’s quite a long journey for the return of one simple monkey.”

“I fail to see how I should be concerned with that.” Yes, I’m aware I was a child of a bratty nature. However, you’ll agree with my complaints soon enough. “Get one of the jaundy boys down by the dock to do it. They’d be more than willing to take on such a task for some pocket money. And if not, roughen them up a bit.”

The monkey rattled in its imprisonment, as if to signify its resistance in departing upon another journey. If only my parents hadn’t been so strong-willed about this damned beast, they might still have their jugulars intact…

“Pippin! Such things are not nice to say about the Asian fellows by the dock! They’re just as hardworking as the Irish, if not more! At least we know they won’t steal the clothes from your back while you’re not looking!” Mother wasn’t a fine example of equality, no matter how much she lectured me on my thoughts of the Asians.

“We’re not discussing the jaundies any longer! The monkey is a gift from our travels and you will tend to him as if he were your sibling. Do you understand?” Father piggybacked Mother’s complaint with his usual cavalier attitude, not noticing the twinge in Mother’s eye at the mention of “sibling”. Of course, it’s here I feel inclined to inform you my parents only went on this trek across the globe to the likes of Sudan, Istanbul, or Constantinople for you westerners, and India to relieve their heavy minds of Mother’s great loss. Yes, I was to be an older sibling, but Fate would have it otherwise. Now I was left with a feces-throwing animal as a replacement. Continuing...

“The estate will be a complete mess when you let loose that thing. Do not even begin to fathom I will clean up after its disasters.” Again, I’m quite aware of how spoiled and entitled I came off as. But I did have an extensive vocabulary for my age.
Both of my parents were completely annoyed at this lack of interest in their gift, it was blatant when they both shouted “Enough!” Father was the first to speak after their unified dismissal. “You will tend to the animal, you will play with the animal, you will love the animal. Am I understood?”
What was I to do? Yes, my will still screamed to beat against theirs, but I was a mere child. Arguing with a parent while in your formative years is nothing more than a losing battle from the start. Now convinced they had won the debate, Mother and Father opened the door to the monkey’s entrapment. The little creature hastily fled from the box, running up the stairs of the grand hall and down one of the many pathways the manner possessed. It was here I really noticed how my living quarters looked. Each entry was guarded by dual marbled statues imported from Greece, the curtains were a silk rarity from the upper regions of Asia, the walls, although a stale brown, were accented with nothing short of one of a kind paintings from around the world. This was more of a museum than a place to live, but I made due with the west wing of the house as my playground. In fact, it was that area of the house I had just heard a crashing sound come from. If only I hadn’t gone to investigate…
I raced into my bedroom, a place of white walls and dark drapes. It was here I saw the monkey perched atop my cabinet of toys, throwing things about like a regular beast of nature. However, he wasn’t destroying my playthings in a regular fashion for something like himself, but rather as a miniature human trapped beneath the case of something primitive. This was only the first of many oddities to come.
“What the hell are you looking at, boy?”
Yes, the monkey spoke to me. And even further, my mouth hung open like that of a person suffering a mental ailment. In fact, the monkey even felt inclined to point that out.
“Are you stupid, or just plain retarded?” The monkey hurled another of my belongings across the room just as he hurled his insult not more than a moment ago. But trust me, he wasn’t done there. “Close your fucking mouth, you’re letting a draft in.” He then jumped from the cabinet to the nearby window, trying to pry it open. “Your parents don’t trust you, they have to nail down the damn windows so you can’t get out?”
I stared on, unsure of what to say. After a few moments I was finally able to mutter out “What are you?” I’m quite aware I seemed daft at this point in time.
This stopped the monkey in his tracks, turning his full attention to me. “Ah, it speaks. Here I thought I was the only one with the cognitive capacity to actually say something useful. After all, you didn’t say much more than jack shit when talking to your parents. And let’s get something straight, I’m not a what, I’m a who.”
“Alright, who are you?” Yes, still daft.
“Name’s Al, and this isn’t who I really am. I was actually an American-“
“You came from America? But Mother and Father said they bought you in India.”
Al became enraged. “Will you let me finish, you little shit? I was getting to that... I’m from America, but I was on holiday in India. I came across some sort of temptress and now I’m a fucking monkey. Does that answer all of your asinine questions?”
The only thing I could think was “No”, but I hardly wanted to provoke Al any more than he already seemed to be. After a few more moments of his bumbling to get out and my bumbling around a talking monkey, we sat down and talked at great length. The man-ape spoke about his journeys across the world, about how he always preferred New York to anywhere else. He said there was a sophisticated aggression in New York and I must really plan a trip if I intend to keep my head squarely up my rectum. Being only eight, I couldn’t tell if that was a compliment or insult. I see now it was the latter. Just as our conversation was getting into what Al’s profession was, Mother called from somewhere near the kitchen, “Darling, it’s time for your medication.” I remember shaking my head in shame.
“Was I right, are you fucked in the head?” Al had a very charming way with words. He informed me all Americans spoke like this too. But he did have a point. I sat in my room, my sanctuary of white and enjoyment, talking to a beast which shouldn’t be able to talk back. Was I mad? No…
“It’s nothing like that. I-“
Mother cut me off. “Pippin, can you hear me? It’s time for your pills.”
I rose to my feet and heard Al chuckle. “Boy, I’d shove that bottle down her throat and make her choke on those pills if I were you.” I had no response, or shall I say, what should I have responded with? I merely dusted myself off and began my trip down to the kitchen. I could hear Al yelling at me as I exited though, “Kill the bitch! Kill the bitch! Kill the bitch! Oh, and don’t forget about your father!”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, a talking monkey wanted me to kill my parents. And each point around this time of day, the time I took my medication, Al’s aggression towards Mother and Father became more obvious. I’d walk along the dark halls, judgmental eyes staring at me from the paintings I’d pass, with words like “stab, shoot, murder, kill” pounding through my skull like a bad headache. Finally I stopped taking the medication to get a reprieve from Al’s verbal wrath. Granted, Mother and Father weren’t too keen on my disobedience initially, but they gave up the struggle over time. Maybe a person in their formative years can win an argument with their older counterparts. Either way, my small victory only spurred the tiny mockery of a man to become more angered.
“Slit their fucking throats!”
“Why are you doing this? Mother and Father may be a burden at times, but that’s no reason to kill them.” Truly, I had no desire to kill anyone, let alone my parents… Yet.
The creature carried on his mental torment, “Slit their fucking throats! Do it! Do it now, you little shit!” He continued with his demands, even instructing me to use the straight razor that somehow came into my possession. Was it one of Father’s? Even to this day I can’t recall. “Put that thing to their necks and slice!”
I don’t think there was a turning point, some toggle in my mind that switched on. No, it was more like sleepwalking. I staggered down the hallways in my slumber attire, no longer concerned with the art glaring at me for my thoughts. Oddly enough, each picture I walked by appeared different now, as if rooting for me to carry out Al’s actions. These new emotions from the artwork could be contributed to my mental state at the time, yet I don’t feel the paintings have changed their mind over the years. They wanted me to do it, just as Al did.
The door creaked ever so slightly as I opened the entrance to Mother and Father’s room. There they were, wrapped up like little children in their bed of oak and fancy. I had only been in their room once, but it never looked like this. Shadows danced on the jeweled walls like imps from Hell, the sculptures and statues took on sharp points, as if growing horns. The once ordinary room now housed all of the monstrosities one would see in a fevered trance, or property of Satan. These things would not detour me though, for my resolve was clear: appease Al so he’d let me have peace.
Father didn’t struggle too much if I recall correctly. I mounted his chest and he awoke with the thought I needed something. He started to call down to one of the servants, but failed to make anything audible once his vocal cords were severed. Blood began pouring from the wound instantly, soaking his long johns and bedding alike. The sudden wetness stirred Mother from her slumber, causing me to leap at her with a terrible force I never knew I possessed. We tumbled from the bed, myself somehow underneath her. Disregarding my position, I thrust my arm upward, stabbing part of the blade into Mother’s neck. She loosed a scream, but quickly stopped herself. I can only assume the action inflicted more pain than she was accustomed. The now dying woman reached up to remove the sharp object, but only succeeded with slicing her fingers due to her franticness. Her hands withdrew wildly, leaving me to drag the razor through her flesh, carving an orifice of pain and gore into her person. The job took several moments, and even after she bled out her body trembled. I then dropped the razor and went back to my chambers. Even now I’m quite confused with how I committed such an atrocity, yet somehow managed to spare myself even a single drop of blood dampening my garments.
Returning to my room, I climbed into my bed. I knew I was now free of Al’s torment, his wrath. My eyes began to sink, I was drifting between this world and the one of rest. It was in my final moment of consciousness I noticed the window to my room was pried open and the talking monkey was nowhere to be found.
NOW – Spring, 1908: New York
There you have it. I killed my parents because an animal, no a man, instructed me to do so. The worst part isn’t my ill-deed, or even that the monkey disappeared once I satiated his hunger for death, but that instead Father was labeled the killer. Yes, the police ruled it both a murder and a suicide. With that, I was passed around from servant to servant until I came of age, thus inheriting the family estate. I live there now, with my family. There’s the Wife, the Son, and the younger Daughter. We even have the Dog. I took on a profession at the local pressing and have lived as normal a life as I could given the circumstances. It was a struggle at times, but I made due with the situation I created. It was everything until now which spurred on this holiday with the family. They longed for an escape, and since childhood I had a desire to go to New York. It turns out visiting the local zoo wasn’t such a good idea though…
“Well look what the cat dragged in.” Al’s familiar voice sounded from a nearby cage. I turned my attention to the monkey, never expecting to find him here, or anywhere for that matter. “It’s a nice family you have there. You know what you should do? Slit their fucking throats!” Suddenly I felt the small handle of a straight razor. I looked down and saw the Daughter holding my hand.
“I like that monkey, daddy. Could we keep him?”
Al laughed hysterically as I stared at the Daughter. My head began to pound as it did when I was a child, “stab, shoot, murder, kill”, the beat to my internal drum…
“Yes, sweetheart. We’ll go ask the man right now how much the monkey costs.”
The End…?

Have You Seen My Stapler?



Have You Seen My Stapler?
By: Michael T. Flanders
     The beast waited in the darkness, sending frigid splinters up Howard’s spine. It’d been lurking there for hours, watching, waiting, keeping him pinned in the corner; the only remaining refuge of light in the room. Often he’d find himself in absolute silence, and he remained hopeful that the creature had sunk back into the obsidian pool it resonated from. To his dismay, however, it would remind him of its presence just as soon as he’d muster the courage to attempt flight. A low growl, the sound of its heavy breathing, an occasional clank of some unknown office equipment hitting the floor; the monster was toying with him. It wanted him to run into the darkness, but he wouldn’t give it the satisfaction, not as long as the red emergency bulb above him held true. 
     A sliver of light pierced the dark blanket before him as the door to his office crept open. Joe, the newest intern, popped his head in. “Hey Howard, Legal wants to know if you have those- Argh! Waa! Ugg! No!” The man tried to scream even after his throat was ripped out, letting loose a wet squeak before the beast finally ended him with a loud crunch. Howard didn’t know him that well, but even through his fear he couldn’t help to think that was one hell of a way to end an internship.
     The beast worked on Joe’s corpse, filling the hushed office with noises of gore and terror as skin was stripped from muscle, then muscle from bone. It would toss scraps into the light, small chunks of intern splattering around Howard’s huddled person. Rips and tears grew more frantic, the creature becoming enthralled with its meal, until finally an inhumane shriek bounced off the cheap drywall and a grotesque pop caused Howard to flinch in disgust. Something’s been pulled off, he thought. A flurry of movement came from the darkness, cementing Howard’s despair as Joe’s severed head land squarely in his lap. The office manager couldn’t contain his fright and screamed. It wasn’t planned, he didn’t think someone would come in and save him, but he couldn’t stop. He sat in his beacon of salvation, speckled in blood, screaming to no end.  It wasn’t until moments later that an amused snarl quieted his impulse to jump from his own skin.
     “Howard, don’t you know interoffice relationships are frowned upon,” hissed the creature. “Especially when it’s, what’s the slang term, ‘getting head’?”
     Howard’s dentures bounced atop the few remaining teeth he had left, a falsified chattering being his only answer to the monster’s pun. He looked to the dismembered remains of Joe in his lap and found only flashes of himself instead. Patchy, aged hair, wrinkles upon wrinkles, a grey tinge to his faded pink tone; there was no hint Joe even existed here, it was only a mirror of what was to come. His heart began to flutter with panic and he started to scream once more, but this time with the purpose of drawing attention. Countless people may die coming to his rescue, yet he didn’t care, he wanted out of this nightmare… at any cost.
     “Oh would you shut up,” shouted the beast in the darkness as it shot a tentacle towards the office manager. “You’re giving me a headache!” A quick slash marked Howard’s cheek, but that was all. The tentacle retreated into its black solace before doing more harm, but appeared to be damaged as the light touched its…scales. Were those scales? His gag reflex kicked in, propelled by the idea of the creature’s sharp, slimy touch and the smell of its light-inflicted wound. He choked down gratuitous amounts of bile, attempting to keep his breakfast burrito from escaping its forced residence in his stomach. It was almost a success too, until Joe’s stump proceeded to bleed out in his lap. The vomit came vigorously onto the severed head, draining Howard’s insides of anything relating to sustenance, and it continued well into his body becoming empty, transforming into a violent dry-heave.
     The beast’s amused snarl rang out again, refusing the idea of giving him even a moment of a reprieve in this corner office of Hell. His torment was its entertainment, and the thing showed no signs of mercy being built into its system. Snarl after snarl turned into laughter followed by more laughter, the creature somehow transforming its tone from beastly to human. What Howard could only image as wet slops hit the floor with a slick whistle, sliding across cheap tile into overturned furniture. A moment or so passed and a light suddenly flicked on in the distance. Just as soon as it was born life, however, it soon perished at the push of a button. This happened for awhile, a red-coated fingernail playing with the switch of a desk lamp near where Howard’s desk rested. Finally the light went off, followed by footsteps heading towards the door.
     “Now what did we learn, Howard?” a sultry female voice asked.
     Bits of regurgitated egg clung to Howard’s lips and chin, remnants of food he’d eaten earlier in the morning. “Not to take your coffee mug without asking.” A click sounded and the room was instantly filled with fluorescent relief.
     “Good boy.” said the woman, a nude blonde of heavenly features, save for the black-tinted ooze that appeared to trail from her shoulders all the way to a monstrous husk in the middle of the room. “Now clean up and get back to work, I think Legal needs you for something.” She opened the door and walked out, exiting without so much as to acknowledge the apocalypse that was Howard’s office. Glass was scattered over miscellaneous papers and broken machinery, fixtures in the ceiling dangled from vicarious wires, flayed remains of Joe painted the colorless drywall. Howard drunk in the sight and responded with a delay, “Right away, Lilith.”
     He really hated Mondays at Morning Star Industries.